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The Number One Lie All Men Tell

We can tell when you’re faking. We can tell when you’re faking.

I can imagine all you guys reading this thinking about what the number one lie men tell is. “I’m not married.” “No, you don’t look fat in that dress.” “Sure, I like your mom.” Imagining lines like these? While these lies are certainly popular, along with “I’ve only been with a few women before you,” or “I haven’t had that much to drink,” none of them take the top spot. So what is the number one lie all men tell?

“I’m fine.” Surprised? The truth is most guys – if not all – don’t like talking about their feelings. For whatever reason (pride, distrust, a lack of self-confidence), men have difficulty putting their emotions into words. So when a man is feeling stressed, angry, or frustrated, it can be very difficult for him to express himself in ways other than pounding his fist on the wall, gunning his engine, or snapping at whoever dares speak to him. When a man is feeling even more complicated emotions like fear or sadness, it can be even harder for him to put his thoughts into words.

Women tend to be more in touch with their feelings for many reasons. Women are emotional by nature, so it’s easy for us to express how we feel. When we’re upset, we cry. When we’re happy, we cry. It’s an effective outlet for us, and we usually feel better after a good sob. Same goes for venting our feelings. For most women, it just comes naturally to us. And there are certainly no negative connotations associated with a woman who expresses her emotions.

Men, on the other hand, may view expressing their feelings as a sign of weakness. Right or wrong, there is definitely a stereotype associated with guys who cry, or who talk about their emotions. Terms like “mama’s boy” and “wuss” are used to make fun of, or put down, men who are known for their sensitive side. Men in uniform (policemen, firefighters, military men) are especially careful about maintaining a “macho” personality.

Obviously there are exceptions to any rule, and some men may have no trouble giving voice to their deepest emotions. They may not care how they appear to others, and don’t worry about negative labels they may receive. Women applaud these men for their courage and secure sense of self. It is so much easier to communicate with men who are open with their feelings than those who brush off our concerns with a gruff “I’m fine.”

Women are pretty intuitive when it comes to their man’s moods, and can generally tell when something is bothering him. So when we ask if there’s something wrong, and you tell us “no, nothing,” we know you’re lying. This is especially true if you’ve been uncommunicative, brusque, or sullen. No one acts this way for no reason, so when you say “I’m fine,” you’re really just insulting our intelligence. Whether it’s something simple like you’re overtired or stressed about work, or a serious problem – why not just come clean and let us know what’s going on? It doesn’t mean we’ll force you to sit cross-legged on the sofa while eating ice cream as you spill all the details (like we would with our girlfriends), but we would at least appreciate the dignity of the truth. If you tell us the problem but say you don’t feel like talking about it – we’ll respect that. We’d rather help you through it, but we’ll try not to pry. It’s only when you insist that nothing is wrong that we’ll keep pestering you.

Opening yourself up is a scary thing, we understand that. But if you’re in a committed relationship, you need to trust that your girl will understand whatever you have to say. Keeping your emotions in check really means that you’re keeping her at arm’s length. The only way to be truly intimate with someone is to share yourself completely – heart, body, and soul. Trying to get your girl to buy the “I’m fine” lie will only lead to frustration and emotional distance. Do yourself (and her) a favor and just tell the truth. The benefits of a closer relationship will be worth it, and you’ll both be much happier.

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Other lies men tell... yeah, we’re onto you.
Last modified on Friday, 12 October 2012 16:55

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